GLOBAL WARMING: A CONSERVATIVE'S GUIDE

This article is “Global Warming: A Conservative’s Guide”.  This issue has sprung up on the Viking Forum so I thought that I should lay out this issue of global warming without all the liberal nonsense that is often spewed when this scientific fact is brought up. First of all, despite the clear evidence to the contrary some conservatives have chosen to bury their heads in the sand and pretend like the Earth is not warming up. The fact is that it is and dramatically. Depending on how and who measures the temperature the Earth has warmed up 2-4 degrees F in the last 150 years. We do not have reliable measurements prior until the mid 1800s and this, of course, is used by denial experts who say that this could be natural and part of the Earth’s cycle.

Here is what you, my loyal readers, need to know. The causes for global warming are truly irrelevant. Irrelevant you say? How can the cause of global warming be irrelevant? It simply is. We have all heard Al Gore and his sycophants running their mouths about how global warming is the apocalypse. I am here to tell you that it is not. The scientific community is united in their thinking that we are, at the very least, contributing to global warming with our penchant for burning fossil fuel. I do believe that we (Humans) are stewards of the Earth and we do need to pay attention to what the Earth is telling us. While I do think it would be in our best interest to reduce our carbon dioxide emissions I also know that any changes that we make will be futile. China and India are rapidly industrializing and as a result their thirst for fossil fuel is increasing at an exponential rate. Any reductions in our oil and natural gas consumption will be simply bought by the Third World and the end result is that the growth in greenhouse gas emissions will march on.

So since global warming is, at this point, inescapable what should we do? The first thing that I am proposing is that we, as conservatives, use our “concern” about global warming to push nuclear energy into the forefront. Nuclear energy is the only real alternative to fossil fuels. Don’t buy into the bullshit that the left feeds you about wind and solar energy, they will, at best, be an ancillary energy source. “Renewable” energy is a myth that the liberals have used to push their anti-globalization, anti-corporate agenda. Wind farms are terribly inefficient and more importantly they produce energy at a much higher cost than the market will pay for it. The same goes for solar power. So being that nuclear power is the only alternative to fossil fuels, we should start a massive expansion of our nuclear energy capacity. The real reason why I support this is to reduce our fossil fuel consumption. I do not propose that this will make a difference whatsoever in terms of global warming but it will allow the industrialized world to stop funding Middle Eastern theocracies.  The real crux of this article is to show the conservative world that we can capitalize on global warming instead of simply sticking our heads in the sand and looking foolish and thus losing influence.

The effects that global warming will have on our planet are certainly debatable. Most climatologists agree that our normal weather patterns will be disturbed and drastically changed. We will see increased precipitation, stronger and more violent tropical weather, desertification in some areas and flooding in others. Global warming will have fairly predictable outcomes in the animal world as well. Animals that are adapted to extremely cold environments (Polar Bears, Penguins, etc) will be adversely affected. This is clearly unfortunate. I do believe that Polar Bears will end up merging with the Grizzly into one species as the Grizzlies move further north with the warmer temperatures. This is sad in some ways and certainly regrettable. Penguins, especially the larger species, will either adapt or die. I personally love penguins but I do not see any way to help them. There is going to be a price to pay for our increasingly tropical world and some of them are tough to swallow. I do not wish harm on any animal or plant species but evolution will march on and the strong will survive and the weak will die.

While the impact on our animal friends is 100% negative, the weather changes in inhabitable environments should be seen as a potential positive. The rest of this article will give us a way to take advantage of our warming Earth. Any idiot could tell you that rising global temperatures will lengthen growing seasons. This is not at all a bad thing. I believe that any enterprising man would go and buy a ton of land in the upper reaches of the Canadian prairie and know that in his lifetime it will be viable farmland and thus a tremendous investment. Rising sea levels are another inevitability so I say that conservatives should start buying up all the land in low lying areas and watch with glee when the poor sap’s land in front of you slides into the ocean. Stronger storms and hurricanes are only a negative if you are stupid enough to live in areas that are hit by the Earth’s stupid people cleaners. Easy solution… move away from the water. If you are below sea level, get the fuck out. The way I see it is that global warming gives you and I (the literate and forward-thinking) some opportunities and will also dish out some lethal punishment to the stupid people of the Earth. I see no problem with that at all.

The point is that global warming is happening. Here at Arthur’s Hall I am always looking for ways to give you a better idea of how the world around you is full of change and that change, even drastic Earth changing events like Global Warming, are not necessarily reasons to throw your hands up and become a victim. We should all stop pretending that Global Warming is a liberal myth and do what capitalists do…find ways to make money and improve our world. Stop letting environmentalists look smart…embrace global warming. Let’s change the mainstream conservative view of global warming by coming to grips with the fact that what we do effects the Earth…how we choose to LET it effect the world is 100% up to us.

-arthur@arthurshall.com