ARTHUR'S YEAR IN REVIEW: 2005
A Viking Warrior's Point of View

This is the first “Arthur's Year in Review: 2005”. In this article I will go through some of major news happenings and also the non-happenings that the media sold you unwitting clowns. I thought it would be interested to go through all of the Time Magazine covers and comment on all of issues raised by the mag. The first caveat I have about doing that is that Time of course is part of the Time Warner group ran by notable southern idiot Ted Turner. He was married to a communist bitch so I am quite sure that the covers will be tilted significantly to the left. Time is certainly more trust-worthy that its TV cousin, CNN. CNN is the biggest joke on TV; it should be named the Anti-Bush League or the Can't Nail the News. I hate CNN!! On to the year in review...

January 10, 2005
The lead story, justifiably, was the Tsunami t hat devastated SE Asia in December of 2004. The tsunami, to me, was the biggest event of the 21 st century so far. The widespread destruction wrought by this natural disaster was sobering to me. The only thing I have to add to this story is that the Earth is still a geologically active entity. It is not to be tempted or mocked. At the drop of a hat, or a slip fault in this case, entire regions can be subjected to utter annihilation. Sad story, the only thing I was annoyed with was the coverage of the “outpouring of support”, human interest stories that make people feel better about themselves are sappy and not news worthy. Actually, I forgot about my primary annoyance “America is not doing enough”. Wow, that is funny, our government and citizens gave more to the relief effort than all other nations combined, once again America hating liberals take a pot shot at W and the nation as a whole.

January 17, 2005
The “Science of Happiness”??? Hmm, be successful, exercise and live life to fullest, seems pretty self explanatory to me. I am sure that the article talks about all the ridiculous drugs that Americans take to be “happy”. I am sorry to tell all of you anti-depressant addicts out there, you are not happy; you are chemically fooling your brain into a state of false euphoria. Get a life you pussies, get off your asses and do something for yourselves. Anyone wonder why health insurance is so expensive? It is because your 42 year old neighbor is eating Prozac like they were Bon-Bons. And you pay for it!

January 24, 2005
“Meet the Twixters” , young adults who live off their parents, blah, blah, blah. Non-issue, losers will be losers. This generation's losers live with their parents, drive nice cars, have cool electronic gadgets and chronic depression. In the 1960s, they hung out at college campuses protesting a war that they could not understand. Once again, nothing really changes, from generation to generation; there will always be weak minded, lazy losers.

January 31, 2005
“How soon can we get out?” of Iraq of course. The liberal propaganda magazine asks when the withdrawal will come. When my man W is good and ready, that's when! Enough said. Stop bitching and move to Canada.

February 7, 2005
“The 25 most influential evangelicals, what does Bush owe them?” Bush does not owe anyone, unlike the libs, our candidates have concrete belief systems. The evangelicals voted for Bush because he is an evangelical himself and is not ashamed of it. When groups vote for dems, they do it because they have been promised some sort of handout, evangelicals were only told that America's Christian heritage would be upheld and celebrated. Anyone notice the Christmas Tree this year at the White House?? That's right libs, Bush called it the Christmas Tree not the “insert made up or religiously false holiday here” Tree. I love it!!

February 14, 2005
The “ Merchant of Menace, AQ Khan ”. This is the Pakistani nuclear scientist that has sold his expertise to the highest bidder. These bidders include Iran, North Korea and Pakistan. It is plain and simple, he should be executed and all nuclear facilities in these nations should be destroyed. Not much of a story there.

February 21, 2005
“What teachers hate about parents ”. I bet I know, an expectation that their child will learn something, a measure of accountability for teachers that do not perform, and easy access. That seems reasonable. Not to teachers….they want tenure, higher pay, less work and insulation from criticism. Any of you guys noticed that your friends who spent their college years drinking and failing classes all became teachers?? Anyone with skills and work ethic should be able to get a higher paying job and if they choose to teach, it is because the vast majority of them are incapable of working in the private sector without a communist union protecting and coddling them.

February 28, 2005
“The right and (wrong) way to treat pain”… Pain?? Hmm, not sure what this issue is about let me do some research……Pain (pan)- An unpleasant sensation occurring in varying degrees of severity as a consequence of injury, disease, or emotional disorder. Still not sure what they are talking about, I will get back to you on this one.

March 7, 2005
“The Math Myth”. More propaganda from the left….women are equal to men in natural mathematical aptitude!! Ha, ha. I suppose the fact every notable mathematician, or scientist for that matter, is male proves nothing. Of course, it doesn't, “Women are discriminated against in education”. Cry me a river! I am on the edge of my seat waiting for the latest Time cover “Women stronger than men” the myth of male physical superiority. Face it everyone, women and men are different, women feel “empathy” and have a superior ability to understand nuance and feel. Men are better at all athletic events and have superior cognitive ability especially in math and science.

March 14, 2005
One of my personal favorites; “How to end poverty ”. Time's answer….steal money from nations that have prospered, persevered and developed vibrant modern economies and give it to war ravaged, corrupt and overpopulated nations. Arthur's Ideas…A) Get a job!! B) If there are no jobs available, move and refer to A.

March 21, 2005
“Hail Mary”. A classic Catholic vs. Protestant argument about the role of Mary. A non-story really, one of the primary differences of these two religions is the treatment of Mary. Catholics revere her, pray to her and build idols to her. Protestants acknowledge her role in Christ's life but treat her no differently than any other human being, the way the Bible teaches it. Another example of modern feminism destroying a long standing institution.

Shatner here - I had to ring in on this one. About twice a year both Time and Newsweek do a cover article on religion. They do it just because it seels issues if you put Jesus on the cover. This is offensive to me, and it should be to most religious people. They are pandering to you when the news is slow to sell more magazines. If you want to learn about Jesus, do yourself a favor and pick up a real religious publication.

March 28, 2005
“Has TV gone too far?” I knew that magazines were recyclable but who knew that stories were too? Age old debate…..completely irrelevant, if you don't like what you see, turn the channel. If you like network TV you have no brain anyway so I really don't care what message they choose to pump into your feeble brain.

April 4, 2005
“Who decides the end of life?”. Aaaahhhh, I don't know. God? When in doubt bet on the big Man upstairs. I do find it to be disturbing that liberals wanted to kill Schaivo because her life was no longer “viable” (I do not disagree with that overall) and yet are complicit in the murder of millions of babies worldwide. Hypocrites to the end...

April 11, 2005
A picture of Pope John Paul II. The old guy finally met his maker. I feel better about that; he was pretty decrepit in his old age. I am sure he has a good seat. I admire him for his anti-communism and his strength in pushing back the rise of humanism within the Catholic Church. He was also a Pollock, that is awesome, the greatest Pollock ever! A great man!! Rest in Peace, Karol Wojtyla.

April 18, 2005
“The Time 100, the 100 most influential people in the world.” JON STEWART?!?!?! “No way” I thought to myself, “Maybe he is some behind the scenes guy at the CIA or NSA” but oh no, it was the “Comedy Central” news man. Hey I like him, he is a pretty good comedian but influential?? To who? Upon reading that, I disregarded everything this issue had to say.

April 25, 2005
“Ms. Right” Ann Coulter. I respect that she is “conservative” but I know if I were running a right wing network I may design a female character to make the conservative message more palatable to soccer moms nationwide. I am not insinuating anything but...

May 2, 2005
“Inside the Mind of the new Pope” I am sure he is a good man. He creeps me out nonetheless. The man is just plain scary looking. I am not sure I want to know what goes on in his mind. “Acquit Wacko Jacko” comes to mind. Ha, Ha.

May 9, 2005
“The Last Star Wars” Thank you God!! NO MORE SPECIAL REPORTS ON THE LOCAL NEWS OF DORKS CAMPING OUT AT THEATERS!!

May 16, 2005
“A female midlife crisis?” Yeah, they woke up one day and realized that their husbands still want 21 year olds and they were no longer useful for the further propagation of the human race. Crisis? I would wholeheartedly agree. Bring on the Prozac!!

PS. Gotta love the racial profiling on the cover. A white woman who cannot come to grips with how old she is, a black woman disheveled and full of attitude and an Asian woman looking perky…who says that liberals don't use stereotypes!!

May 23, 2005
“Inside Bill's new XBOX ”. Story of Microsoft's foray into the video game industry. A brief synopsis…Microsoft buys anyone with talent outside of Nintendo and plots to destroy Sony's only profit stream left. You have to love American business!!

May 30, 2005
“The Class of 9/11 ”. A story of the class of 2005 who entered the military academies thinking that they would enter the civilian workforce after four years of slapdicking around and are now faced with the prospect of actually performing their duties. Once again, you have to love the woman on the cover. As if she will face combat duty….she will have four years of providing the men on the front lines temporary pleasure in her important role of barracks whore! Take that back, she is more likely to die from an undetermined STD than her male counterparts are to die heroically on the battlefield.

June 6, 2005
“How to get fitter, faster”… Get off your ass and stop eating sugar laden processed foods!

June 13, 2005?
“Home $weet Home” The story of Americans and their obsession with real estate purchases. It should be titled “How to look rich and be poor; how to live in house that costs 20 times your annual income” or “I lost a ton of money in the stock market in 90s and why I am living in a (bursting) bubble”. Idiots!

June 20, 2005
“Inside the Wire at Gitmo” I love Gitmo!! A place where no rules apply, torture is served with breakfast and a clear view of the East is obscured! The bottom line on Gitmo is this, if you are there, you are there for a reason and I could care less if you live or die.

June 27, 2005
“China's New Revolution ” Nice pic of Mao in a Louis Vutton jacket. The story of a supposedly communist nation that has entered the world economy with both feet. Glad to hear it, I love forced labor under the guise of capitalism as long as I can get a $6 T-Shirt from Costco.

July 4, 2005
“Uncovering the real Abe Lincoln”. I guess nothing was newsworthy this week. Lincoln was a great president but his views and his life is not current events. Yawn.

July 11, 2005
“The Supreme Battle”. A story of the battle that wasn't for the open Supreme Court seat that John Roberts easily gained confirmation for. John Roberts represents everything that is right with America and I was pleased to see him confirmed and appointed Chief Justice. This “battle” was typical of Democrat theology, run your mouth and when things hit the fan, run for the hills and get out of the way.

July 18, 2005
“Rush Hour Terror ”. London gets the Muslim treatment and in America, Republicans rejoice at the British response to terror; fight on against Islamofascism. Unlike their European counterparts, Spain, Britain has stayed the course in Iraq and is clearly aware of the Muslim menace. Somewhere Michael Moore is happy, he loves to see Westerners killed by gutless suicide bombers. Michael Moore is the most despicable man on the planet; I wish him nothing but the worst this New Year. I hope his belly button finally succumbs to the tremendous pressure it has withstood and spews his guts all over some liberal protest scene in California.

July 25, 2005
“Rove On The Spot”. It looks like Karl Rove, the brain behind Republican domination, is the latest victim of the obscenely biased liberal media. The whole story is full of irresponsible lies and blatant corruption. I would bet that the group that made up Dan Rather's report on Bush's National Guard service is behind this one. What they (idiot liberals) don't understand is that Rove does not need an official post to ensure continued Republican domination of the world.

August 1, 2005
“Eyewitness to Hiroshima” . The cover features a Japanese dinosaur of a woman holding a sad little picture. I am appalled that this nation continues to wrestle with the decision to nuke the hell out of Japan. If you fight us, you lose and you lose big. We had to teach them a lesson about taking up arms against the US. The funny thing is that they clearly understand why we did what we did. They became a satellite state of ours and now are thinking about rearming themselves to counteract Chinese military operation and development. Just think, 60 years ago we nuked them into the Stone Age and now they do our bidding in buffering against the Chinese threat. American “shotgun” diplomacy at its very best!!

August 8, 2005
“Being 13”. A story about being 13 years old. First of all, who gives a rat's ass? Secondly, I have a prediction; the little girl will be an oversexed, tanorexic whore in just three years. The youth of today are a generally disgusting group that has been destroyed by years of liberal indoctrination in school and utter neglect at home. I feel sorry for them, a fat, lazy wasted generation.

August 15, 2005
“Evolution Wars” . Why does this have to be a war?? Intelligent design and evolution can be concurrent and do not have to be mutually exclusive. I guess the opposing groups are the reason. One on side, you have a group of God-hating liberals who want nothing more than to eradicate Christianity and replace it with humanist philosophy. The other side is the lunatic Christian right that is afraid of all types of science and, in so doing, sounds ignorant. I propose that in all biology class that students are told that while evolution is a plain fact of life, the driving force behind it is unknown and is up for debate. As a Christian, that is acceptable to me. If you do not want you kids destroyed by communist humanism, put them in private school and if you can't afford it, shut the hell up.

August 22, 2005
“The 25 most influential Hispanics in America”. Sad that we still separate Hispanics from the mainstream, it is a non-issue. Hispanics are everywhere in our society and really do not have a separate culture so talking about them as a sub-class is insulting and racist.

August 29, 2005
“Hip Hop's Class Act ”. Kanye West, who the hell is this? Isn't that the guy who said that Bush would have stopped the hurricane if it were to hit a whiter area? Go the way of your boy Tupac and die fucker.

September 5, 2005
“How to stop a heart attack before it happens”. Well, since the only way a Viking can die is of a heart attack this could be an interesting article. I read it and I am going to ignore everything in the article because I am immortal and cannot be stopped. I will tell you how to recover from one in a later article I am sure.

September 12, 2005
“An American Tragedy ”. Hurricane Katrina. It should have been titled “How all this could have been avoided had the people of New Orleans learned to read” or “Hurricane strikes, welfare rolls reduced significantly” Refer to my article on Hurricane Katrina http://www.arthurshall.com/x_katrina.shtml

September 19, 2005
“System Failure” An investigation into the disaster in New Orleans. No investigations needed, idiots stayed behind and suffered a deserved wake up call. I would have titled it “How the welfare state is responsible for thousands of needless deaths”. I am pissed that they are rebuilding that city; it sits below sea level next to an increasingly pissed off ocean. I say good riddance New Orleans...you will not be missed.

September 26, 2005
“Is it too late to win the war?” Isn't this the same magazine that was talking about a withdrawal?? Get your story straight. I know that libs know very little about winning but you do not win anything in the first quarter, you win late in the fourth quarter. We already won…we deposed a murderous dictator and have installed a puppet government that will assure us access to oil for the foreseeable future.

October 3, 2005
“Are we making hurricanes worse?”. Hard to say whether or not we are causing them to be more violent, what is safe to say is that building a city below sea level in hurricane alley is not a great idea. All those welfare addicts in New Orleans should thank some idiots named Pierre and Jacques for building a city so incompetently. Yet again the French find a way to make themselves look stupid, I love it!

October 10, 2005
“Gay Teens” I feel like I need to wash myself after looking at this waste of newsprint. Nice pic of a young butt-pirate on the cover with a whimsical look on his face. His puka shell necklace should be a lesson to all you so-called straight men out there who wear these things with pride. I can read his perverted little mind “When do I get to take a money shot again?”. Yuck.

October 17, 2005
“Living Better Longer” written by an obese doctor…I don't know how much credibility a pig like him has on the subject. Not as I care, I will be bigger and stronger at 55 than I am now. Why?? One) I am a Viking and Two) I will never let my testosterone levels fall to the point of a mere mortal.

October 24, 2005
“What's Next ”. The standard look at the future of technology. BORING!!! Wow, good job Time. Three straight pointless issues. What is your declining Time Warner stock distracting you??

October 31, 2005
“The great retirement ripoff ” This article paints a dire picture for retirees. The cover states that retirees think they will have benefits upon retirement and that corporations are stealing them away. I guess that crippling a company forever and forcing it close and fire everyone is better than reducing retirement benefits. Case in point, General Motors is facing bankruptcy if it does not reign in runaway retirement costs. The workers unions are dead set against any changes to the retirees' plans. The odd thing is that those same union leaders are going to be looking for jobs soon because the workers they represent are being outperformed by their non-union counterparts here and abroad. Modern unions do not stand for you, my working friends. They are, at the very least, a hindrance to you and worst case, they will be the reason you will languish in never-ending “job reeducation”.

November 7, 2005
“How to save a life”. Poor Africans dying of horrible diseases, a sad story really. The cover details the treatments and heroes that are fighting these diseases. I have a novel idea: “How to save a life in Africa, don't have a fucking kid when you are HIV positive!!” Seems simple enough.

November 14, 2005
“The Secrets of Ambition” A story of what separates the successful from the also-rans. I am sure that the article has all sorts of psycho-babble and talking about upbringing, blah, blah, blah. It is also safe to say that there will be some sociological reasons (bitching and whining) from those who are “average”: “My mom was mean to me”, “My dad was not rich”, “I am a woman/black/gay/Hispanic, the system is discriminatory”. I can sum up the truth in one important sentence. Face it losers, some of us were born better than most of you!!...............2005 sucked by the way, disasters, whining, crying, liberal lies and defeatism, if I wasn't so damn great I may be a bit down about it all.

November 21, 2005
“Most amazing inventions in 2005” This is an utter waste of time. The most amazing inventions are never marketable to, or even understood, by the masses who read Time. I can envision the magazine explaining an advance in genetic mapping and the reader's brain exploding all over his pathetic cubicle.

November 28, 2005
“New Orleans Blues” ENOUGH ALREADY! I DON'T CARE!

December 5, 2005
“The Year in Medicine from A to Z” . Oh no, this could be ugly…Arthur is getting angry!!! Ok, I am going to try to hold myself back on this one…..Screw it, here we go! A stands for Asshole Doctors who prescribe drugs for no reason at all. B is for Barbiturates, a favorite drug amongst those who have symptoms of “depression”. C is crank (or Ritalin, etc), modern medicine's answer to overactive children and irresponsible parents. D is for depression the “plague” that is devastating America. Are you unhappy or a bit down? You could be suffering from a real, medical condition known as depression. My diagnosis?? A serious case of Vaginitis; recommended treatment, grow a pair of balls, pick up a Slayer CD and lift some weights you pussies. E is for everyone needs to shut up and stop going to doctors for frivolous maladies. F is for Finaplex, an anabolic steroid that cures everything. G is for Googleitis, the next major disorder that weak minded Americans will suffer from. H is for hearing loss that you should suffer from after listening to metal as loud as possible. Treatment, turn it up!! I is for the incontinence that liberals suffer from after reading this site. J is for jaundiced eyes of drug addicted Hepatitis C suffering junkies. K is for Kennedy's disease, a real disorder believe it or not that is characterized by progressive muscular weakness and infertility, I wish the Kennedy's had this disorder so that the world could be spared from any more drunk incoherent Kennedy's. L is losers who depend on pharmaceutical drugs for health and happiness. M is for malpractice or as I call it the “loser lottery”, malpractice and frivolous lawsuits are at the very root of skyrocketing health care costs. N is for nonsense. Nonsense is what libs speak when they cry about the “health care crisis” and the need for socialized medicine. O is for obesity a recognized “medical disease”. I suppose that being fat is a disease but of the mind, will and soul. The fact that health insurance will pay for treatments for obesity is a disgrace, having no will power and eating potato chips does not you sick, it makes you a fat piece of shit. P is for pseudoephedrine, the main ingredient in meth. You can buy pseudoephedrine over the counter but athletes can't use herbal ephedrine because it is “unsafe”. I love that logic! Q is for quit your crying and complaining. R is for Restless Leg Syndrome, a real medical disorder. What?? We have invented a disorder to treat the human body's instinct to move around. I think if you are suffering from this “disorder” your body is probably telling you something, get off the recliner, get out of the house and do something. I imagine this is our body's last gasp of strength before it succumbs to complete and total muscular atrophy. S is for Steroids, the official drug sponsor of real men and Arthur's Hall. T is for the mutated T-cells of AIDS patients who are dying a self inflicted death. U is for urinary tract infection, a weird disorder women seem to suffer from. If you are a man and suffer from this, well, I guess your urinary tract is a bit short! V is Vaginitis, the disease that afflicts most of our pathetic culture. This disease is characterized by a feminine preoccupation with feelings, their hair and a dangerous lack of decision making ability. Vaginitis usually develops at age 16-22, the age were society starts to tell you that being a man is bad and the susceptible men fall into this trap and soon they are bleaching their hair, using fragrant lotions, and listening to a “bit of everything”. W is for whole foods, the Arthur's Hall treatment for obesity. X is for Xanax, a drug that treats anxiety disorder. Anxiety disorder is similar to depression and the treatment is identical, stop crying, go workout, listen to some Metallica. Y is for you are now smarter and more masculine after reading this. Z is for….who cares…….Modern medicine is a complete joke and should be avoided at all costs unless you are in the process of dying quickly.

December 12, 2005
“Spielberg's secret masterpiece ” a story of Speilberg's movie about the murder of Isreali athlete at the Olympics in Munich. I generally could not care less about Steven Spielberg but this movie should be funny. I would bet any amount of money that it will portrary the aftermath of the terrorist action (engineered by Yasser Arafat, a Nobel Piece Prize winner!!) negatively as if Israel should have laid down and cried. Instead, they went and kicked ass all over the Muslim world and are still doing that to this day.

December 19, 2005
“Best Photos of 2005 ”……..Yawn.

December 26, 2005
“Persons of the Year ” Bill and Melinda Gates and Bono. The first thing I like is the Melinda Gates is one of them to satisfy the female audience. What has she ever done other than “service” Bill and spend his money?? NOTHING! Bill Gates has given away 15 billion dollars in his life….and that is admirable. The interesting part is that to give some sort of perspective one must consider his net worth which is estimated at 80 billion. That is the equivalent of a person who has a net worth of $800,000 giving away $150,000 in a lifetime. That may seem like a ton of money but considering church tithes and the like it is not an exordinary amount of money. I admire Bill but what he does in nothing especially incredible. Bono? A washed up singer who has devoted his life to saving the continent of Africa from itself. Good luck with that Bono. Admirable again but who cares?? Not me.

-arthur@arthurshall.com