HAPPY HELLOWEEN
Halloween is a pointless holiday. It has no reason for being other than for little kids to dress up and go door-to-door begging for candy. I have no problem with that, in fact, I did a lot trick-or-treating as a kid and a fair amount of bag snatching. That was always fun. That being said, I am disturbed at the modern state of this holiday.
I may just be getting older but it seems that Halloween has changed significantly over the years. I remember it well, you get home from school, start working on your costume and by about 8:00pm you roll out with bag in hand with the single minded focus to fill it with as much candy as you can carry. The best trick-or-treaters were businessmen, they knew which neighborhoods were best and which houses were the "King Size Hershey Bar" houses. Unfortunately, things have changed for the worse.
Kids now don't just take off and go where they want, their idiot parents load them in their failure wagons (SUVs) and take them to specific places IN THE CAR! Part of Halloween was dealing with the season, it could get cold at night, you had to plan for that. Now these pussy kids go where their parents take them, usually to some shitty planned community where everyone got together and bought decorations from fucking Wal-Mart or those stupid ass Halloween stores that pop up in strip malls in shit-hole towns across the nation.
Even worse than this is the single adult behavior on Halloween. Halloween has become an excuse for women to dress and act like whores. We have all seen it, keg cup in hand "Hey... I am Candy, I am a dirty pirate hooker and I am so drunk". Truth is that they look more like strippers than pirates, and that is by design. Its not the worst thing ever for single guy, although I am sure there are blue-balls a plenty that night because it can be hard to distinguish which chicks are actually whores vs. the ones playing dress up. No matter... basically Halloween is stupid.
Now that I have that out of my system I want to wish you a Happy HELLOWEEN! No, I did not spell that wrong. Screw Halloween, It's time for Helloween.
That's right fuckers, WATCH OUT, BEWARE... LISTEN, TAKE CARE... It's Helloween. I am talking about the German metal band who has recently blown my brain away with their sonic greatness. I had heard of Helloween over the years, the first time by watching pro wrestler Chris Jericho who named himself after Helloween's first album, The Walls of Jericho.
Jericho was always one of my favorite wrestlers and the fact that he named himself after this band's music should have been a hint to go check it out. But I am a close minded asshole, so I didn't. The second time I was confronted by this band was through my loyal assistant Shatner. Shatner is more plugged into society overall and he hears things and many times turns me onto them. Well, he had developed a major man-crush/hard-on for Kai Hansen of Helloween/Gamma Ray and he started pushing Gamma Ray and Helloween on me. It did not grab me at the time and, once again, I went back to blasting Maiden and Slayer.
My third confrontation with Helloween was the charm. Thanks to my unbridled genius and the greatness of Pandora, Helloween kept popping up on MY PANDORA STATION. Finally one day I heard something that changed my life of metal. I heard the song "Halloween" and things just have not been the same. The song "Halloween" is 13 minutes of mind bending greatness. It is easily one of the ten best songs in the history of metal. The lyrics are pretty damn cheesy which bothered me at first. As someone who loves Iron Maiden (the greatest lyricists in world history) I had a hard time with the lack of seriousness I heard with Helloween. I imagine that many of you will feel the same way WHEN (yeah, it's a fucking command) you sit down and start listening to these guys. Fight through it and you will be rewarded.
Helloween was formed in the early 1980s in Germany. Germany may not be the powerhouse that England is for metal bands but The Scorpions, Sodom and Helloween are a great contribution to the world of metal. The original lineup was Kai Hansen on guitar and vocals, Michael Weikath on guitar, Markus Grosskopf on bass and Ingo Schwictenberg on the drums. Their first release was the Judas EP and that was immediately followed by Walls of Jericho. These releases were well received and they were able to tour with some bigger bands (Anthrax) and continued to gain exposure. After that initial tour, Kai Hanson realized that being the second lead guitarist along with vocals was too much and they recruited Michael Kiske to join the band as lead vocalist. Much like Bruce Dickinson with Iron Maiden, Michael Kiske allowed the band to fully develop their sound.
Michael Kiske was the singer for Helloween in their most important and musically successful years. He is, in my faultless opinion, the greatest lead singer that the metal genre has ever seen. His range and control are obvious to the most casual listener, and more impressively he was 19 years old at the release of Keeper of the Seven Keys Part I. Kai Hansen, an accomplished vocalist himself was able to add to the power of Kiske's voice with backing vocals.
Bands like Helloween often use layered vocals and two person chant/harmonies. Keeper of the Seven Keys Part I and II were revolutionary sounding albums. The combination of high ranging vocals, complex vocal harmonies, epic song length, rapid paced and intricate drumming, technically demanding guitar solos often done with alternating leads, use of keyboards and sound effects is now known as power metal. From a stylistic standpoint I liken it to "video game Iron Maiden", meaning that power metal is inspired by what Iron Maiden was doing with added musical complexity and perhaps a little less seriousness.
Keeper Part I and II were the coming out party for Helloween. Keeper of the Seven Keys Part I was the first "power metal" album. Helloween's legacy was secure after the release of the Keeper albums. Bands like Iced Earth, Blind Guardian, DragonForce, and Iron Savior were the direct result of Helloween's seminal releases. When I listen to DragonForce especially I can hear the influence of Helloween. DragonForce is not a super serious band, and that element of fun is also a Helloween innovation.
Helloween has never taken themselves particularly seriously and that is a significant difference between them and their peers like Judas Priest, Metallica, Slayer and Iron Maiden. Yes... those bands are Helloween's "peers". I would make the argument that if you look at the entire heavy metal genre that these five bands stand above the rest. The history of metal is an interesting subject that I'll cover in a coming article. The way I see it is that Black Sabbath and Deep Purple are the grandfathers of metal. Their "sons" are Judas Priest (the oldest and the most influential of the five), Iron Maiden (the second born and most talented), the tough guy twin brothers (Metallica and Slayer) and the youngest and resident court jester Helloween. These five bands laid the groundwork of the entire genre, their innovations and talent exemplify the wide range of the official music of Arthur's Hall of Viking Manliness.
The success of Helloween was short lived, during the Keeper of the Seven Keys Part II tour, founding member and lead songwriter Kai Hansen left the band. He would go on to form Gamma Ray. Helloween replaced Hansen with Roland Grapow, a talented guitarist in his own right. From a pure musical standpoint, Grapow could play what Hansen was playing but Hansen was missed dearly from a songwriting standpoint.
The follow up to the Keeper albums was Pink Bubbles Go Ape. This album was a disaster for the band. First of all, the title may be the single worst album title in the history of music. The tracks were not any better and it was a critical and commercial failure. They followed Pink with Chameleon... which was even worse. The power metal sound was abandoned and the music from Pink Bubbles and Chameleon is not heard in current Helloween live sets.
Lead vocalist Michael Kiske was not a fan of the power metal sound and it was his influence that brought us these horrendous albums. After Chameleon, he was fired by band leader and co-founder Michael Weikath. Kiske still refuses to be associated with the metal genre which is a shame because, like I said earlier, he is a vocal freak. Basically this era destroyed the brand name that Helloween had created and doomed any potential commercial success in America. I have zero doubt that if Hansen had stayed with the band that they would have been household names in the US.
Helloween, bruised and battered, soldiered on. They replaced Kiske with current lead vocalist Andreas Deris. Deris is not in the same class as Kiske from a vocal standpoint. He does not have the range or the control that Kiske does. Replacing a legend is never easy (ask Ripper Owens or Blaze Bayley) but the only way to do it is to know that you cannot actually replace a legend. Deris knows he can't sing like Kiske and instead he does what he does well. He is a talented mid-range singer and as a performer, he is a pleasure to watch. He has also taken a lead from a songwriting standpoint and that has been critical in Helloween becoming relevant again.
With Deris in the fold, Helloween released Master of the Rings. Master was a return to the power metal sound and signaled to the metal world that Helloween was back in business. The next album was The Time of the Oath. Time of the Oath marked Helloween's re-emergence into the scene they created. Five albums later, Helloween is still at it. They released Gambling With the Devil last year and by all accounts (I have not heard it... yet) it is the best Helloween album since the Andi Deris-led resurrection. I don't own any of the newer albums, I am fairly new to Helloween and I generally absorb music slowly, one or two releases at a time. I will own all seven of the Deris era Helloween albums.
Recently, as some of you forum nerds know, Shatner and I went to a Helloween/Gamma Ray show in Seattle. This show was at a small club, probably 600 people. It was incredible to see a legend like Kai Hansen and a formative metal band like Helloween in such an intimate setting. We were throughly entertained. Shatner has been a big Gamma Ray fan for a few years now, and he was there to see Gamma Ray. I was there to see Helloween.
What was most striking about this show was how much fun both bands seemed to be having. It is obvious when a band is going through the motions. Both Helloween and Gamma Ray are BIG bands in Europe, they play arenas and stadiums in Europe, Japan and South America. It would be easy to be insulted at having to play a small club here in America. They were not, and it showed. We drank beer, chewed Swedish Snus and enjoyed some kick ass metal. Shatner now has a greater appreciation for Helloween and I have a greater appreciation for Gamma Ray.
Going to concerts is an underrated experience and if you can see this tour or any other respectable metal band... do it! A lot of these bands are not incredibly wealthy and showing your support is the right thing to do. Bands like Helloween enrich our lives and provide endless hours of entertainment. Be a fucking man and go see bands live! I am going to make a point of going to even more concerts with Shatner, it is just a lot fun. Driving home from the concert, blaring metal as you navigate through the pop-infested streets of your hometown is an empowering feeling.
My directive to all of you is go buy Keeper of Seven Keys Part I and II. If you like metal (which if you have testicles should be a given) you need these albums. Give them a few listens and if you don't like them... listen some more. You will be glad you did. Now go, find that pirate hooker I talked about earlier and show her your purple-helmeted battle axe!
HAPPY HELLOWEEN EVERYONE!!
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