BODYBUILDING 201:
Intermediate Course for the Average Pencil Neck

Gunter Schlierkamp is Adolf Hitler's wet dream, and you will never be as great as him... but it doesn't hurt to try.

All right men... I know that after reading my landmark Bodybuilding 101 article you have been hitting the gym and doing your best to reach your masculine potential. I am proud of you. Now I would like to give some of my tried and true advice on how to make the time you spend at the gym worthwhile. This article is Bodybuilding 201: The Intermediate Course.

This article is aimed at the guy who has been pounding away at the gym for one to three years and is starting to realize that, unlike me, you have hard-to-overcome genetic limits. Let me emphasize that this article is not for beginners, the methods and the regimen that follow are much too advanced for the beginner. If you are interested in beginning a weightlifting program and you are a novice, go read my Bodybuilding 101 article and get started now.

I will detail the science behind building a superior physique. I will leave the majority of workout specific advice for a later article. This article is more about the diet and "supplements" that will help you become more like me, which of course should be your ultimate goal. I have been able to achieve some incredible results over the years and I hope that this article will give you the inspiration and the knowledge to maximize your genetic potential.

Speaking of genetic potential, it is important to know your genetic advantages and also your disadvantages. There are three main somatotypes (body shapes): Ectomorph, Mesomorph, and Endomorph. All three are distinct but a good majority of us do not fall completely into one body type, but are a combination of two of them. I will explain the differences between the three types and how to tailor your program to accentuate your genetic profile. The structure of the article will be to first identify a body type and explain how to eat and train to get serious results.

In the last installment, I gave you some rudimentary advice such as...

EAT PROTEIN!!!

While still true for the intermediate bodybuilder, further refinement of your dietary habits are needed to make the next step. One important thing is to remember that you must "eat to grow", meaning that when you put something in your trap you need to know what it will do to your body. That being said you must also know what a particular workout is doing for you. A training schedule that works for me will not work for people with different genetics and vice versa. Read on to learn the right diet and exercise program for your particular genetic profile.

A photo of your typical ectomorph. Courtesy of Something Awful's Cliff Yablonski.

Ectomorphic Body Types

Diet
If you are an ectomorph, you have probably been somewhat disappointed with your results. An ectomorph is someone with low body fat percentage, a small joint structure and long limbs. Shatner is a classic ectomorph, he does not carry body fat and finds it difficult to gain any kind of weight. Ectomorphs typically like activities such as running, biking, hiking and the like and generally are not interested in bodybuilding. This is probably because an ectomorph's body is made for endurance activities and does not easily fatigue under aerobic stress. While having great endurance is great, it leads to a lack of explosive strength. This genetic profile discourages most ectomorphs from becoming big fans of weight training.

For an ectomorph to actually grow and look like a man it takes a terrific amount of food. Not any food but good, calorie dense food. Nothing drives me more insane than watching an ectomorphic guy drink a no-carb post-workout drink. Are you kidding me?? If your an ectomorph and you don't know the carb content of foods, you are just plain stupid. Needless to say the "Atkins" diet is not for you. A naturally skinny person who is training weights and trying to make some good muscle gains must eat at least 25 calories per pound of bodyweight. For a 150 lb pencil neck that means eating 3750 calories per day. Now I know that some of you will say "I eat that much and I don't gain weight"... but the truth of the matter is that while there are days that you eat that much there are just as many days where you eat 2000 calories. It is on those days where your muscles starve and any gains that you have made are lost. Oh yeah, and three fast food meals with 1250 calories each do not count either. You must also try to get to 1.5g protein per pound of bodyweight. This can be a tough thing to achieve but you must learn how to do it or you will look like a 12 year old forever. You should be eating 7 times per day and it should something like this......

Meal 1:
(Go for broke, your body is starving)
6 eggs (or 12 egg whites, the yolks are preferable for an ectomorph)
1 cup of Oats (not instant, real shit)
As much fruit as you want

Meal 2:
8 oz of meat (I don't care what type, lunchmeat barely qualifies)
4 Slices Bread (Not Wonder, mama's boy)
12-24 oz juice, pop, milk

Meal 3:
Repeat Meal 2

Meal 4: (or pre-workout meal)
90 minutes before you go to the gym
1 Meal Replacement Drink w/1.5 cups oatmeal
12 oz of carb-laden drink (Gatorade, Pop, Juice...your choice)

On the Way to the Gym:
A sugary drink (energy drinks with a shitload of caffeine are great) or 32 oz. Gatorade...with this drink take your 10g Glutamine and 5g Creatine (Don't ask why just do it)

Post-Workout Meal 5:
Protein Drink from the gym (if your gym does not have one, go join a real gym)
This drink should have 30-50g Protein and at least that many carbs.

Meal 6:
Should eat 1 hour after your workout
10 oz ground beef (Beef is by far the best animal for the ectomorphic guy)
As much rice as you can eat
Vegetables if you are gay
Meal 7 (should be eaten less than a half hour before bed)

6 eggs (12 egg whites)
1-2 cups applesauce with your 1 cup oats
Drink 1 gallon of water per day

This diet will force your body to get bigger and if you can handle this volume of food and it does not make you sick, add to the portions. The bottom line is that for you natural pencil necks out there you have to eat until you feel like you are going to puke all day if you want to grow. If you want to feel light on your feet all day, then prepare to be light on the scale for the rest of your pathetic life. Keep in mind, you must do this everyday if you don't your genetics will rear their ugly head and you will have wasted your time.

Ectomorph Weight Program
I know that the diet is challenging but the good news is that your workout program is simple. Of the three body types, your workout program is the easiest. I will go into more specifics a bit later but the gist of your workout program is that you must train heavy and do it with free weights. If you are naturally skinny and you are working out on primarily machines, once again you are wasting your time. Your weight workouts should not last more than 45 minutes. That's right men, get in and get out. Just like you in bed only repeat the process ten times or so. Get your workout done and go eat as quickly as possible. Here is a good workout program for the pencil neck (oops, ectomorph).

Day 1: Chest
4 sets bench press (4-8 reps, no more than 10 reps)
4 sets incline dumbbell (4-8 reps, no more than 10 reps)
4 sets dumbbell flys (10-15 reps)

Day 2: Back
4 sets dumbbell rows (6-10 reps)
4 sets wide grip pull ups (if you can do a ton of them, add weight to your legs)
4 sets dead lifts (3-6 reps)

Day 3: Quads
4 sets barbell squats (4-10 reps)
4 sets leg press (6-12 reps)
4 sets hack squats (6-12 reps)
4 sets leg extensions (8-15 reps)

Day 4: Shoulders
4 sets dumbbell military press (4-8 reps)
4 sets barbell military press (6-10 reps)
3 sets lateral raises (8-15 reps)
4 sets bar or dumbbell shrugs (6-12 reps)

Day 5: Hamstrings and Calves
4 sets straight leg dead lifts (5-10 reps)
4 sets leg press with your feet in a high position on the press (to emphasize hamstrings, 6-12 reps)
3 sets hamstring curls (6-12 reps)
4 sets standing calf raises (10-20 reps)
4 sets seated calf raises (8-15 reps)

Day 6: Arms
4 sets close grip bench press (4-8 reps)
4 sets french curls (6-12 reps)
4 sets dips (as many as you can do)
4 sets standing barbell curls (4-10 reps)
4 sets seated alternate dumbbell curls (8-12 reps)
3 sets concentration curls (8-15 reps)

-arthur@arthurshall.com