ARTHUR'S HALL NFL/AFC PREVIEW
That's right men, it is time for the only sport that truly matters..The National Football League. I know some of you like baseball, basketball or maybe hockey but in comparison those sports are irrelevant. In this article I am going to give you the truth about each and every team. What I will not do is beat around the bush, if the team or player sucks, I will say that. So instead of wasting time with a long intro, here we go.
AFC West
Projected standings
- Denver 11-5
- San Diego 10-6
- Kansas City 6-10
- Oakland 4-12
DENVER (11-5)
Offense- Denver's offense is built around an outstanding rushing attack that is made possible by the use of the zone blocking technique. Denver's O-line is the smallest in the league but is quite effective due to cut blocks within the lineman's particular zone, hence "zone" blocking. The addition of Javon Walker will spread defenses out and give Jake Plummer another option other than the aging Rod Smith. Head Coach Mike Shanahan has made it clear that undrafted rookie Mike Bell will be the starting running back but you heard it here first, Tatum Bell (not in Week 1) will start and have a great season. The basis of this team's offense is to control the clock and use play actions and bootlegs for the mobile Plummer, it is a simple but effective offense.
Defense- Denver has an above average defense. Champ Bailey, the best cover corner in the league, cuts one half of the field off and small but quick linebackers swarm opposing running backs. They do struggle to mount much a pass rush so that will limit how far Denver goes in the playoffs.
SAN DIEGO (10-6)
Offense- In terms of individual talent, this unit is one of the best in the league. They have, hands down, the best tight end in the league in Antonio Gates. They have a Hall of Fame running back in LaDanian Tomlinson. What they don't have is a NFL quality wide receiver or a proven quarterback. San Diego could win this division or stink it up and it all rests on the arm of new quarterback, Phillip Rivers. If he plays well, this is a Super Bowl contender, if he is bad, they will not make the playoffs. I can think of no player in the league who has more riding on him than Phillip Rivers.
Defense- Once again, outstanding individual talent. Shawn Merriman is fucking Viking warrior. He is well on his way to becoming the reincarnation of Lawrence Taylor. The defensive line is deep and strong against the run. The only weakness of this unit is the lack of depth in defensive secondary making them susceptible to the passing game. Rookie Antonio Cromartie looks to be the real deal and if he can adjust to the NFL despite missing his junior year at FSU with a shredded knee, this unit will be on the NFL's best.
KANSAS CITY (6-10)
Offense- Year in and year out this offense has been the league leader in total yards under former coach Dick Vermeil. Now the Coach Vermeil has retired, this offense will take a serious step backwards. They hired Herm Edwards as the new head coach and this guy is an atrocious coach. If he were not black, he would be coaching high school football. He will sabotage this team just as he did with the NY Jets. Trent Green is overrated and will look very pedestrian without Vermeil's innovative offensive scheme and Tony Gonzalez is on the downward slope of his Hall of Fame career. Larry Johnson is all you have to know about this team's offense, he will run early and often and lead the NFL in rushing yards. He runs with an anger that is unmatched, he tries to hurt tacklers.
Defense- Every year we hear "if only the Chiefs could have a good defense". Well guess what..you still don't and since the offense will be average this year this unit will be exposed as a complete joke. One of the league least physical and most cowardly defenses...they plain blow.
OAKLAND (4-12)
Offense- Ha, Ha. A fucking joke. Any team that has Aaron Brooks as their starting QB cannot be taken seriously. They do have Randy Moss and Lamont Jordan, two very good players. Moss is on the decline but he is a still a weapon that most teams cannot match. It won't matter...Aaron Brooks will never find him and he will fumble, throw horrible interceptions and take sacks. Their four wins will be complete happenstance.
Defense- Nothing to note here, just a bunch of NFL jobbers.
AFC SOUTH
Projected Standings
- Indianapolis 14-2
- Jacksonville 10-6
- Tennessee 6-10
- Houston 4-12
INDY (14-2)
Offense- The most explosive unit in the NFL. Led by the best QB in history (the stats will bear me out) Payton Manning they score at will and are the premier unit in football. Edgerrin James did leave but since he was never anything special so it will not matter. Manning will throw for 4200+ yds and 35+ TD's just write it down. The only question about this offense is its ability to grind away on the clock and wear down opposing defenses. I do not believe they have this ability as they are a finesse offense. The only reason Indy has not won a Super Bowl yet is that they not Vikings...they are soft as my pillow. When the pressure is on, they fold. Why? They have a soft pussy ass head coach in Tony Dungy. As long as he is there, they will not win a Super Bowl. He left Tampa Bay and they promptly won the Super Bowl the next year, I predict the same thing will happen for Indy.
Defense- Extremely quick and small. This defense is built for protecting big leads. When you are forced to pass because you are behind 21-3 in the first quarter, this defense will destroy you. They run well and they attack the quarterback as well as anyone but they are not big and strong enough to line up and physically dominate an offense. If games are close, this defense struggles which explains why Indy has not been able to grind out wins in the playoffs.
JACKSONVILLE (10-6)
Offense- One of the most milquetoast offenses in the league. Below average quarterback (if you don't believe me go read the stats and stop watching ESPN), suspect wide receivers and injury plagued running backs. This offense's main role is not turn the ball over and stay out of the defenses way. Until they address their offensive shortcomings they are nothing but a wildcard team with no chance whatsoever to advance to the Bowl.
Defense- One of the league's most physical defensive units. Their tandem at defensive tackle of Stroud and Henderson is the league's best. Mike Peterson is one of the league's premier linebackers. Very few teams are able to move the ball easily against this D and this allows the team to change field position and give their below average offense a chance to score. They are led by Head Coach Jack Del Rio, a fiery former linebacker, who is one of the most underrated coaches in the NFL.
TENNESSEE (6-10)
Offense- A year of transition is in store for this offense. They will run grizzled veteran Kerry Collins out to start the season but this season is all a preparation for Vince Young to take over this club. The selection of Vince Young will lead this franchise down a very dark decade. He has no business playing QB in the NFL and never will. He may be the most overrated college prospect in history. He ran a middle school offense at Texas and with his Special Olympic level intellect will never be able to grasp the complexities of the pro game. The selection of Lendale White was a quality choice and he will end up being the primary ball carrier midway through the season.
Defense- A pedestrian unit. Nothing to note here. It is too bad that Head Coach Jeff Fisher was not able to get this team over the top before they hit salary cap hell. They did everything possible to load up for the short run and now this team is doomed to failure. He is a great coach and will get his get out of jail free card at the end of the year.
HOUSTON (4-12)
Offense- Have a good young quarterback in David Carr and a freak show athlete in Andre Johnson at wide receiver but not much else. David Carr has been on his back for much of his first four years and nothing was done this year to address the worst offensive line in the NFL. This franchise will regret not choosing Reggie Bush for the rest of its existence. They passed on the most special player in our lifetimes and anyone involved with that decision should be banned from the NFL forever.
Defense- Mario Williams was the first overall selection in this year's NFL draft and will be an utter disappointment. He was not productive in college and secured the first selection by being a physical freak. He has all the athleticism to change the way that defensive end is played but I fear he lacks the motor to use that freakish athletic ability. Gary Kubiak is a first year coach and will improve this team eventually but it will not be this year. They will be in the running for #1 pick again this year.
AFC NORTH
Projected Standings
- Cincinnati 12-4
- Pittsburgh 10-6
- Baltimore 9-7
- Cleveland 7-9
CINCINNATI 12-4
Offense- Possibly the most dynamic offense in the NFL. They have robo-QB Carson Palmer, the hilarious and great Chad Johnson and a solid workmanlike running back in Rudi Johnson. They also have an outstanding offensive line who rarely allows anyone near Carson Palmer. Very few teams can run and throw like these guys. Forget about Palmer's injury in the playoffs, he will be fine and this time around Pittsburgh will not get lucky enough to injure Palmer again. They would have beaten Pitt with Carson and will beat them twice this year.
Defense- This unit will be the reason why Cincy will not go to the Super Bowl. They are great at creating turnovers but have trouble stopping anyone. I laugh at the fact that Coach Marvin Lewis is known as a defensive coach...his defenses have been atrocious and this one still is.
PITTSBURGH 10-6
Offense- They will lead the NFL in rushing attempts again. They will still not pass the ball well and they will not turn the ball over. This is Bill Cowher football in a nutshell. Big Ben is slightly above average quarterback as long as he does not have to pass much he does his job well. Willie Parker is somewhat unproven but looks good. The rest of the offense is very average.
Defense- The backbone of any Steeler team. Troy Polamolu is a great safety and Joey Porter is a madman. They use exotic blitz packages and odd combinations to fool stupid quarterbacks into mistakes. They won a fluky Super Bowl but were a good team. They will not return and it would not surprise me to see them miss the playoffs.
BALTIMORE 9-7
Offense- In the past few years, this offense has been a comedy of errors. I do think that bringing the aging Steve McNair will help but I am not convinced he will stay healthy. The fate of the Ravens lies on the shoulders and legs of Jamal Lewis. If he can return to his 2004 form, this will be a playoff team, if not they will be the same old Baltimore Ravens, boring and average.
Defense- The window is closing. Hall of Fame beast Ray Lewis is not aging well and may have one more season of dominance left in him. This defense has been the most consistent and outstanding of this millennium and will be good again. The return of NFL Defensive Player of the Year Ed Reed will also help. If the Ravens are going to make a run this defense must dominate. I think they can at times but I do think they have aged a bit and will not be able to win games single-handedly enough to propel the Ravens into the playoffs. This will be Brian Billick's final year with the team, another non-playoff season will doom him to unemployment.
CLEVELAND 7-9
Offense- First of all, I have to confess that I have always liked the Browns for no other reason than their ancient uniforms. Any team without a logo on their helmet is my type of team. On offense, this team is improving. They have a young QB, Charlie Frye, who seems to get it, a solid RB in Ruben Droughns and two mercurial receivers, Braylon Edwards at WR and Kellen "The fucking soldier" Winslow at TE. This unit will be decent and could be a surprise if the offensive line gives Frye enough time to make decisions.
Defense- The reason the Browns will not be playoff bound is the lack of talent on the defense. They will perform well as a unit, they are well-coached by Romeo Crennel but coaching alone will not be enough to get this defense where it needs to be.
AFC EAST
Projected Standings
- New England 11-5
- Miami 8-8
- Buffalo 5-11
- New York 2-14
NEW ENGLAND 11-5
Offense- Led by NFL cover boy Tom Brady, New England is one of the league's smartest and most efficient offenses. They use a short throwing spread type offense that plays to Brady's intelligence and decision making prowess. They have two good running backs, the old warhorse Corey Dillon and uber-talented rookie Lawrence Maroney. They have an average group of wide receivers but the offense does not call for dominant wide receivers, it spreads the ball around to them and a group of talented tight ends. Look for TE Ben Watson to have an Pro Bowl year in this offense. The holdout of Deion Branch will hurt but not enough for the premier organization in football to cave in to this idiot's absurd contract demands.
Defense- This unit continues to be one of the NFL's best based on the genius of Head Coach Bill Belichick. He is the Bill Walsh of defensive coaching and his unit is not particularly talented but his use of scheme and game-planning sets the standard in the NFL. The loss of Willie McGinest will hurt but they will find a way to replace him without missing a beat.
MIAMI 8-8
Offense- I know you have all heard that Miami is going to be a good team this year. The ESPN hype machine is lying to you. If they did not have four easy divisional games against the Bills and Jets this would be a sub .500 team. Why? Dante Culpepper is THE MOST OVERRATED PLAYER IN THE NFL. He is fucking terrible, look no further than the opener against Pittsburgh, he singlehandedly lost that game for Miami. His inability to make decisions is appalling for an NFL QB. He is a turnover machine, the only reason his is a starter in this league is because he had the good fortune of playing with Randy Moss in Minnesota. Chucking the ball as far as possible only works when you have a super human receiver and he does not have one now. Ronnie Brown will have a strong season as will Chris Chambers. Miami will look great here and there but Culpepper will fold when it matters so it will all be for naught.
Defense- An aging unit. Jason Taylor and Zack Thomas have been the stalwarts on this defense for a decade now and they are starting to decline. This defense will be challenged by the offense giving the ball away at inopportune times and will tire as the season goes along.
BUFFALO 5-11
Offense- Two words about this offense, Willis McGahee. He is the only player of note on this offense and if they can find a way to get him rolling this offense could be better than most expect. If he gets hurt or cannot find the holes...this offense will be one of the league's worst. They have the inexperienced but talented JP Losman at QB. If his line can protect him and they are able to run the ball effectively he will surprise people. If not, it will be ugly.
Defense- A solid upper tier defense. Bigtime standouts in Takeo Spikes and Nate Clements. If the offense is able to move the ball and control the clock to any extent this will be a top 5 NFL defense. I fully believe that Buffalo could compete with Miami if things go their way this year. I see Buffalo as a boom or bust team...could be 3-13 or 9-7 and competing for a wildcard spot. I think they are one year away.
NEW YORK 3-13
Offense- The worst team in the AFC without question. They are just horrible. Chad Pennington should retire, his arm is a wet noodle after tearing his rotator cuff twice. They have a 30 something Head Coach and will be atrocious.
Defense- Jonathan Vilma is going to waste his immense talent playing on a horrendous team. Make no mistake, even Vilma will not able to rescue this unit. Bad, just bad.
- arthur@arthurshall.com
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