2005 VIKING ARCHIVE
Warren Robinett Interview
12/31/05 — An Interview With the Programmer of "Adventure"
The following interview with programmer Warren Robinett is a huge departure from the usual Arthur's Hall content. Warren Robinett was a programmer for the Atari Corporation, and was responsible for the design of the classic Atari 2600 game "Adventure". The game was a visualization of earlier text adventure games, and a huge influence on later games like The Legend of Zelda.... READ MORE |
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BODYBUILDING 101
12/27/05 — The Art and Science of Bodybuilding
I will clear up misconceptions, give you the basics of how to get involved and explain the basic principles so that if you choose (If you are any sort of man you should immediately start) you can change your body and finally look like a man instead of a soft pastry... READ MORE |
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SHAQ: REAL LIFE SUPERHERO
12/01/05 — A Basic Outline of Mr. O'Neal's Greatness
Shaq is the closest thing to a fictional superhero this side of Arnold. The first thing that makes him a superhero is his un-Godly size. He is 7'1 and he weighs around 360 lbs!! Are you fucking kidding me?? That is reason enough to apoint him as one of the greatest men in the world but there are many reasons he is "super" besides his freakish proportions... READ MORE |
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THE MANLIEST DECADE IN HISTORY, Part III
11/26/05 — The 1980's Baby! Part 3: The Culture of the 1980s
These movies all had a central theme and that theme was "The toughest SOB wins and lives while the weak die a horrible and undignified death". That is a real Viking theme. The Vikings were great because they challenged anyone and everyone to fights and wars and because they were bigger, meaner, nastier, and tougher they won and to the winner go the spoils... READ MORE |
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EDDIE GUERRERO, REST IN PEACE
11/14/05 — The World Has Lost One of Wrestling's Greats
Eddie was one the true greats in modern professional wrestling history. As hard-to-accept as Eddie's death might be, it's almost equally as hard to believe how he ended his life on top of the wrestling industry after very humble beginnings... READ MORE |
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THE MANLIEST DECADE IN HISTORY, Part II
11/07/05 — The 1980's Baby! Part 2: The Music of the 1980s
As I have told you, my readers before, heavy metal is the music of true men (Vikings). Heavy metal does not deal with relationships, women, emotions or even mundane day to day life. It is all about manly things such as death, anger, war and treachery... READ MORE |
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THE MANLIEST DECADE IN HISTORY
10/17/05 — The 1980's Baby! Part 1: The Politics of the 1980s
To fully grasp why the 1980s were so great one must understand the ineptitude of the 1970s and how the 1980s laid the groundwork for the conservative revolution that has dominated the last 25 years. Read on... READ MORE |
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HURRICANE KATRINA: CAUSE AND EFFECT
09/18/05 — The human causes of Katrina's destruction
The first reason is that most of the people who stayed are generally ignorant people, they do not watch the news, listen to the radio, they were too busy enjoying their lives as scum sucking welfare addicts. My main assertion is that if these losers were told that they could get a $500 book of food stamps if they went fives miles north, they would have in a heartbeat... READ MORE |
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FACIAL HAIR IS MANLY AS FUCK!
09/03/05 — Put down your latte and Chomsky and grow a beard pussies!
Presidents like James Garfield, Ulysses S. Grant, Rutherford B. Hayes, Martin Van Buren, and William Taft sported supremely manly facial hair that served as a beacon of hope and freedom for the rest of the world. Particularly to those who just weren’t manly enough to grow a beard. With this proud history of American manliness, one wonders how we arrived where we are today... READ MORE |
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ARTHUR'S MANIFESTO
08/05/05 — Arthur's Manifesto is exactly what it says it is stupid!
This article is named "Arthur's Manifesto". This article will detail where I stand on most major issues within the political arena. This should put my articles into context and erase any question in my reader's minds on where I stand. I know that many of you think I am some sort of whipping boy for the GOP and this should give you some insight into my independent thinking and superior intellect... READ MORE |
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MECHANICS NEED JOBS TOO, BUY AMERICAN
07/29/05 — A insightful and probing look at the American auto industry
First of all, I will have you know that although I am a gun-toting, chewing, and generally conservative American, I steadfastly refuse to drive an American car. This article will tell you why. The first thing that you must know about American cars is that they are just plain shitty cars. They are undependable, cheesy and shoddily manufactured... READ MORE |
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HOW LIBERALS FUCK YOU aT tHE PHARMACY
07/24/05 — Why liberals are at fault for our high health care costs
Not to pound home the free market idea , but I want to preemptively answer the cries from the peanut gallery. The retort to this article will most certainly be "People deserve life saving drugs without worrying about the costs". This could not be more incorrect... READ MORE |
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Congratulations to John Roberts!!!
07/24/05 — Hey stupid, read this!
The federal government is not responsible for decision making on a micro level. Likewise, if one state wants to ban abortion or gay marriage and another state wants immorality to run wild, I say let them be. If you do not like how your state is being run, we have this little thing called FREEDOM OF MOVEMENT in this great nation... READ MORE |
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THE DREAM TEAM OF METAL
07/03/05 — Arthur's heavy metal all-star team rapes and pillages!
I will attempt to dream up the most pissed off metal band in history by choosing the best musician in each of the following categories; Singer, Lead Guitar, Rythym Guitar, Bass, and Drums. This dream band will have five members, if you pussies will notice we do not have a DJ, MC, a keyboardist or any of that other faggot shit... READ MORE |
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FRANCE: WORST COUNTRY EVER!
06/20/05 — Arthurshall.com tears France a new, even bigger asshole!
To say France is blameless in the UN's complete loss of credibility would be a joke. They are half of the problem. How did a country full of cheese eating socialist sissies with no military to speak of become a threat to world peace? Amazing!... READ MORE |
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THE GREATNESS OF GOVERNOR ARNOLD
06/13/05 — The greatest man to ever live continues to grope and govern!
Considering that the state of California has 327,000 employees (are you fucking kidding me??) this shift of responsibility will save California countless millions of dollars (especially considering that the average illiterate state worker will not actually enroll in the 401(k) plan because it involves reading and writing).... READ MORE |
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TRAITORS IN OUR MIDST
06/06/05 — John McCain should switch parties or shut the fuck up!
You see, seven "republicans" have decided that making a deal with the devil was better than changing the judicial nomination process. WHAT A BUNCH OF FAGGOTS!! These senators, including Public Enemy #1, John Mccain have made a deal that will allow some of George the Great's nominees to pass through with the assurance that they will not filibuster unless there are "substantial doubts" about a nominee... READ MORE |
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LIBERAL OBSTRUCTIONISTS
05/23/05 — Why John Bolton is a Viking
We, as Americans, have to remember that we created the UN and we should do whatever necessary to make the UN a subservient organization. I personally support immediate unilateral withdrawal from the UN but in the modern political environment this may not be possible. John Bolton is a reformer and would finally provide the United States an ambassador that is not afraid to question the rampant idiocy and liberalism at the UN... READ MORE |
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TANOREXIA - THE NEW FEMALE EPIDEMIC
05/16/05 — What can we do to rid the world of these disgusting bird-women?
"Why do these crazy bitches wear sweatshirts in the summer?” I will tell you. Their metabolisms have been destroyed by years of not eating and just like your pet parakeet that you had when you were younger, they have no resistance to the outside world. Their avian-like metabolic rates cause them not to be hungry and so they do not eat and the cycle only worsens... READ MORE |
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BAN SOCIAL SECURITY
05/04/05 — An insightful essay on the communist scam called "Social Security"
They told everyone "Hey give us part of your income and if you are lucky enough to live to 60 (at the time, by no means a given) we will give a measly check every month"!!! Wow, what a fucked-up, cynical system!... READ MORE |
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THE STUPIDEST THING i'VE EVER HEARD
04/19/05 — Part one in a continuing series about America's fattest and laziest
I'd be fine with letting these idiots die poor and alone, except that we live in a liberal society where "we have to take care of the less fortunate". For those of you reading this on a laptop at Starbucks, "less fortunate" is liberal code for stupid and irresponsible... READ MORE |
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FAT LARDS AND FOOD STAMPS
04/18/05 — Arthur's Great Society, and his plan to feed America!
Have you even been pissed off when you are the grocery store and the person in front of you is buying Coke, white bread, frozen pizzas and Star Magazine using food stamps?.... READ MORE |
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WOMEN WHO SMOKE ARE WHORES!
04/16/05 — Why women who smoke are dirty rotten filthy stinking whores
While the title "Women Who Smoke are Whores" might seem like reckless generality. Oh wait, it is a reckless generality, but it's also an indisputable Viking fact! .... READ MORE |
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BE A REAL AMERICAN, SUPPORT THE IRA
04/08/05 — The Irish are only happy when they have beer AND freedom!
This column is not mean to be inflammatory but only to let the average person know that the IRA is a group that is quite similar to our own revolutionaries.... READ MORE |
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VIKING ASSET ALLOCATION
04/04/05 — How to avoid working at Wal-Mart when you are old!
Asset allocation is the most important choice that an investor makes when building a portfolio. This article will teach you how to do it properly so that when you "retire" you are not forced to be a greeter at Wal-Mart. I will tell you this first; although I am a Viking madman, I do have a degree in Finance from a respected business school..... READ MORE |
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SPREADING THE GOSPEL OF CHEW
04/03/05 — How chew is the answer to the next Republican revolution.
My plan is to start placing fresh cans of chew in junior high schools so that boys can start chewing and unleashing their manliness. By doing this, men will stop worrying about what clothes they wear and how their hair looks, instead they will be worried about where their spitter is and they will spontaneously start to lift weights and voting for Republican candidates.... READ MORE |
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WHY METAL IS KING
04/01/05 — Hey stupid, read this!
The headline of this column is "Why metal is King", and after reading this article I am sure that you will agree. If you don't then take your mouse click your address bar and type in MoveOn.org, listen to Green Day, go fuck yourself, and then do the world a favor and kill yourself... READ MORE |
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MASTODON ROCKS!
04/01/05 — Mastodon brings back real metal for real men.
Mastodon, a little band from Atlanta have officially “brought the fucking rock” with their last album “Leviathan”. These guys are pissed, they can play, and they sing about real metal shit!... READ MORE |
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